Courtney C.

Big Plans

2012-02-15T17:29:00.003-05:00

I've got my energy back after my bout with the flu! It's a good thing too, because I have a growing list of projects in the work for Grace's room.

Project #1 is making a roman shade for Grace's window, which currently has no official covering. Actually, it is covered, but we're talking-beach-towel-shut-in-the-upper-part-of-the-window covered. I like to think of it as hobo-chic. At any rate after reading over this tutorial and making a trip to Joann's I have 95% of the materials I need to complete this project.

Because I'm a fickle woman I changed up the fabric for the shade. Instead of the striped one I'll be using this fabric:

Heirloom in Dandelion by Joel Dewberry

I decided that the striped fabric was a little too harsh and possibly circus-like for the look I want in Grace's new room. But I have five yards of it sitting around since I ordered it months ago when Grace was in her old room that has two windows. There's no danger of it going to waste though; I have special plans for it in the future, let's just call it project #3.

If you're really good at counting you may have noticed that I missed a number. So to set your mind at ease here's...

Project #2: Replace the tiny off-centered ceiling fan in the room with something a little more fun and attractive. I already ordered a ceiling light, this one to be exact:

via Lighting Direct

It's not much of a looker right now, but I have big plans for this light. Those plans possibly involve beads and fishing wire. Sounds pretty weird right? To give you a hint my inspiration is this large and very expensive light:

Turquoise and Jade Chandelier

As for Project #3? It won't be happening in the immediate future, but I have notions of blowing this pin cushion pattern up about 20 times in size. :)

Mini Pattern by Heather Bailey

Enough talk though, I've got projects to work on!

So Close

2012-02-10T12:44:00.000-05:00

Well, today is the big room swap day! We dismantled the elliptical and pulled all the other construction/painting junk out of the room so I could do a deep cleaning before moving in Grace's furniture. Here's a little shot at how things are looking right now:

I still have some outlet plates and plug covers to install, but things are looking much improved from our starting point!

This picture really makes me cringe. It's like the room of a hoarder in training.

Anyway, for those interested in things like paint colors, the new wall color is Benjamin Moore's Frosted Petal, and the trim color is Polar Bear by Behr. Behr has always been my first choice for painting, but I'd heard a lot of excitement over Benjamin Moore's Aura paint line, which is supposed to have no VOC's and almost no nasty paint smells, so I decided to give it a try. The price was really steep at $65 a gallon, but for a room Grace would be sleeping in over 12 hours a day I decided it was money well spent.

My verdict? Not totally sold.

There was almost no paint odor which I really liked, but you'll still want the windows open. The coverage however was not impressive. Benjamin Moore makes a big deal about how their Aura paint is paint and primer in one with two coat coverage, even when you're going dark to light or light to dark. In my case I'd say the room started out with a light to medium gray, and I was painting over with a light color. After two coats of cutting in and two coats of rolling I was left with this:

The edges needed probably two more coats (to make a total of four) and another rolled coat on the wall was needed for full coverage (a total of three coats). Worst of all my one gallon of paint for a small room just wouldn't cut it. At this point I couldn't bring myself to cough up another $65 for more paint, so I had some Behr paint and primer in one color matched. The match was absolutely perfect allowing me to get the whole room covered in one additional coat with a good bit leftover.

I know a lot of people love the Aura line, but I have to admit to being really disappointed in the coverage quality for the amount of money I spent. I won't say I'll never try other lines of Benjamin Moore paint. I do think I'll stick with my Behr paint for general wall painting though.

Things According to Grace

2012-02-08T10:55:00.003-05:00

Sleeves are "beeps"
The moon belongs to Toby
Mommy's shoes are good for walking in, even if they make her fall down
Anything put in a horizontal position is sleeping

Since I've been sick with either the flu or a particularly nasty head cold this week, Grace is constantly remarking how, "mommy is sleepy," while I rest on the couch. I'm grateful that she and John seem to have escaped whatever I caught so far and hope it continues that way.

Crafting Session

2012-02-01T15:36:00.001-05:00

One thing I'm really excited about as Grace is quickly approaching two is her increasing capacity for more complex play sessions. There's a little craft I thought up after she showed interest in butterflies that I tried out with her today; all it required on Grace's part was coloring on both sides of a sheet of paper. Unfortunately, she became really upset when I tried to take her paper away, so I went ahead and made one of my own to share with her.

Once the butterfly shape was cut out I attached a string so Grace could make it flutter around to her heart's content.

Here she is multi-tasking with her coloring and butterfly fluttering:

Then it was time to buckle down and really focus on that picture!

I'll definitely file this project off in my head as one to do when she gets old enough to be excited about decorating her butterfly, but for now I'd call this a successful first crafting session. :)

Progress Round 2

2012-01-31T12:42:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a breather from construction in Grace's future room while the little lady takes a nap and thought I'd catch everyone up on room progress. Over the weekend John helped me clear out most everything remaining in the room, which means the room is easier to work in, but our dining room now looks like this:

Needless to say I won't be hosting a dinner parties until this room swap is complete.

Onto bedroom progress though! As of this morning I have all of the new baseboards installed and will (hopefully) finish up the quarter round and window framing before the day is done.

Aside from the trim, a big portion of my morning has been occupied with demoing and drywalling over the tiny closet (a.k.a. the cat hotel). Here's a really boring series of pictures covering the removal of the closet:

Cut a hole that extends past the studs.

Be sure not to drywall in the drill.

Anchor your drywall to the studs with drywall screws.

Wasn't that incredibly boring? Here's a picture of the old closet door to add some excitement. (Lamest post ever, I know.)

So there you have it folks. Slowly the previous dumping ground is beginning to take on a more bedroom-like feel. And I must say that, while I do enjoy busting out the power tools from time to time, I'll be happy to trade those in for a spackle knife and paint brush.

Nursery Progress

2012-01-25T12:27:00.000-05:00

Slowly progress is being made in Grace's future room. This week I've been working on removing a couple boxes here and there as I have a free moment. I even got the odd kitchen cabinet and counter turned desk uninstalled from nook.

So long strange desk; you won't be missed!

The cabinets had been built into the room with the baseboards, so I actually had to rip out trim to remove the desk. Thankfully, I already had intentions of replacing the baseboards, and this just got a little more demolition checked off my to-do list.

Our electrician also came back today and fixed the broken heater in the room. That, combined with some work on John's part over the weekend means we have working heat in all of our bedrooms! Don't even tell me you're not jealous of our luxurious living, because I know you are.

I've got a lot more packing to do for this room. But now that work in the basement construction has taken a little break (we passed our electrical inspection today, woohoo!), I should be able to temporarily store extra items downstairs in order to really get this makeover moving. I even have trim measurements all written out and ready for baby-free time to make a Home Depot trip.

20 Months

2012-01-20T13:03:00.000-05:00

Let There Be Light!

2012-01-19T17:50:00.000-05:00

There's electrical sanity in my basement! Dangling cables are gone. Potentially live wires no longer stick out from the walls just waiting for a hand to accidentally touch them. It feels a million times safer down there.

It is a little tricky to see in this picture but in the main area there is a 2x3 grid of recessed lights plus one extra light (that one poking down at the top of the picture) in the hallway making a total of seven canned lights.

And look here, organized wires capped off, color labeled, and properly clipped. What a foreign site for my basement!

And here's our new subpanel installed to the right of the original, that is now covered instead of hanging open with wires spilling everywhere.

If you can't tell I'm really excited about all of this, way more excited than the average person would be. It's just so nice to turn on a light down here and not worry about getting electrocuted. And if all of this wasn't enough to have me in a good mood here are some additional bits of excitement:

We found out today that my car troubles were not nearly as expensive as what we thought they were. They're still not cheap, but I'll take repairs totaling in the hundreds any day over those in the thousands. This means we might not have to wait quite as long on insulation and drywall for downstairs. :)
My table lamp I was raving about like a lunatic healed itself. It's a lighting miracle! This is kind of old news around here, but I've been meaning to share since I'd made such a big stink over it. (For any 'Friends' fans out there I felt a little like Joey when Rosita, his favorite recliner, made a miraculous recovery.)
This marks my 200th post on this blog! That one is probably only exciting to me, but it's nice to feel like I've found an outlet that works for sharing my creative endeavors.

I'm feeling pretty grateful these days for the positive way some stressful situations are turning out. I know circumstances shouldn't be the deciding factor of my mood; overall I need to be more conscious about choosing to be happy despite what is happening. But it does make it easier to handle those tough things when I feel like a some are turning out well.

The Birthday Dachshund

2012-01-17T10:43:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was Toby's 5th birthday! He celebrated with naps on the couch, crumbled bacon in his dinner, and some buttercream frosting from the birthday cake I made. I've had the urge to bake a cake lately, and a birthday, even a canine one, is always a good reason for cake!

And just because he was the sweetest looking puppy, here's a picture of Toby shortly after we got him:

Loaf and Boules

2012-01-16T11:30:00.000-05:00

I've kept up with my bread baking, and slowly the baking supplies I ordered have arrived, making a fairly simple job even simpler. Today I decided instead of a domed shaped loaf, otherwise known as a boule, I'd like to try more of a traditional hand-shaped loaf. The boule is very pretty, but it makes for mismatched sandwich slices. Let's see the results!

Looking nice and loaf-like from this angle.

Uh...wow, that kind of looks like a...

Very immature bread, very immature!

Growing Up

2012-01-12T17:27:00.000-05:00

We're way overdue for a Grace post around here!

With each day she is looking more like a little girl and less like a baby, and the changes aren't confined to appearance either. Here vocabulary is growing rapidly, her sentences are becoming more clear and specific, she's naming colors as she draws, and lately, she's expressed interest in potty training.

John picked up a little trainer potty for Grace to use. It's a goofy frog, and she loves it. We've been approaching this change pretty casually so far. If Grace is interested we go diaper free for a bit and see what happens. Purchasing some pull up diapers would probably be really helpful with the process.

I know some moms get into having a system for moving their baby from diapers to underwear in a few days; I'm not that kind of mom though. The days can get stressful enough without becoming the potty nazi. So, as long as I feel like we're generally moving forward, I'll be keeping things more casual for the time being.

Of course all this means that before too long we'll probably be adding tiny little girl underwear to the mix. I'm sure the options will all be pink, covered in princess stuff, and cost more then adult underwear! But maybe I can find some classic day-of-the-week ones for her to sport.

Room Swapping

2012-01-11T11:57:00.000-05:00

I'm all recovered from my lamp tantrum yesterday. I try to generally stay positive about things, but there have been a large number of life hiccups (I'm coining a new term for disappointing events) lately. And sometimes I just need a momentary whine session before I can readopt the everything-will-work-out approach.

With that out of the way please allow me to share with you a dark and scary place in our house I like to call the dumping ground -- otherwise known as John's office, my office, the workout room, and storage space.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's not that bad, but wait, there's more!

...and more...

Doesn't this look like a cozy place to paint? It somehow doesn't convey the sense of tripping hazards and impending junk avalanches that happen on a near daily basis. We've tried a number of times to purge unused items and organize this room, but the truth of the matter is this tiny space can't do the work of four rooms. Grace's room on the other hand is huge, and with this basement renovation dragging out to eternity we've decided that a room swap is in order.

But there are some items to be completed before I'll move Grace in here including:

install a thermostat for the baseboard heat and make sure heat functions properly - that's right people John has been heatless in here for almost two years now
gut the room of everything we can find a temporary space for elsewhere
remove strange kitchen cabinet and countertop desk
close up the weird closet that starts halfway up the wall - I call it the cat hotel
center ceiling light receptacle to window
install new ceiling light
replace door, baseboard, and window trim
make or buy an attractive baseboard heater cover
paint walls
paint trim
add a second shelf and rod to the closet
find a 3-drawer dresser to double as a changing table
make and install a roman shade for the window

Sounds like something I can wrap up in a single toddler nap time right? If only! With the electrician scheduled to work in the basement next week we can't gut the room just yet. Our big item for the weekend is to hook up the thermostat to see if that heater even works. If it doesn't I want to be able to add that to my contractor's list of things to fix next week.

Once our electrical guy is finished in the basement we'll start moving items downstairs for the real work to begin. I see power tools and hardware store trips in my near future which makes me a happy girl!

Bad Day

2012-01-10T18:44:00.001-05:00

*Warning* what you're about to read are the rantings of a grumpy woman. If you are here to see cute pictures of a baby or generally don't like whining please come back another day.

Still reading? Well welcome to my party of rage; the motto here is: if it can go wrong, it will go wrong!

I got my lamp on Sunday after driving over thirty miles to a pretentious mall with snobby Pottery Barn workers who charged me an extra 5 cents for a bag that didn't even help carry my lamp to the car. I didn't have the right bulb to test out the 3-level light function of the lamp Sunday, so I held onto the packing materials just in case it was faulty.

Thinking I'd save a buck by forgoing PB's crazy expensive $45 lamp shades I went over to Target today. Sure it made my day rushed and crazy, but I was excited to see my lamp in all its shaded, 3-way bulb glory...plus I could stop using my Christmas tree as a task lamp. In a moment between many rushed trips to and from the house I unwrapped my lamp shade and with great anticipation went to place it on the lamp. Hmm, didn't notice that before; the attachment method is not your standard one.

Disassembly of the top half of the lamp ensues. John walks out from his office and watches as my frustration morphs into a fit of swearing as I realize there is no way my new lamp shade will ever work on this lamp. I'll have to make another drive to the store, in my car who's transmission just started giving warning signs that it is on death's door, in order to return the world's most poorly designed lamp shade.

Needing a little space from the lamp I went about other tasks until it started to get dark and seemed like a good time to install the new 3-way bulb. With little hope left I screwed in the bulb and turned the switch only to confirm my fear that the 3-level function on the lamp was not working. So I took a sledge hammer to the lamp, crappy shade and all.

Not really, but that might have been therapeutic.

Looks like those workers at PB will get to see my smiling face again! And you better believe I'll be cutting open whatever boxed lamp they bring out to me to test the 3-way bulb I'll have stashed in my purse.

Basement Electrician Update #2

2012-01-09T18:26:00.001-05:00

After several months of searching we found an electrician that we feel good about doing work on the basement! I think this was my most difficult contractor search second only to finding a good structural repair/waterproofing company, and in the end I found my electrician by baking cookies.

Two days before Christmas I decided that I really should bake a batch of sugar cookies to give to our surrounding neighbors. So Grace and I made our rounds that Thursday afternoon, and when it seemed like she only had one more visit in her I decided to stop in on the neighbors who were some of the first to welcome us to Calvert Drive. During the course of our visit we talked about home repairs upon which my neighbors gave a glowing recommendation for an electrician they'd recently had do a number of big and small jobs around their house. Thankfully, they were happy to share their electrician's information, and now I've got Doug scheduled to do the electrical rough in next week.

My take away from this is if you're ever in a bind with finding contractors just whip up something delicious for your neighbors, and they'll spill all of their secret home repair contacts in no time!

Decision Made!

2012-01-06T13:35:00.000-05:00

Remember last week when I had some Christmas money burning a hole in my pocket? Well, I've reached a decision between artwork, framing, or lighting, and the final verdict is....

A table lamp for the living room! This one from Pottery Barn in bronze to be precise:

I kept coming back to the lamp idea purely out of practicality. I do almost all of my reading, knitting, and computer work on the couch, and a good task lamp would take a lot of stress off my eyes. Apparently, I thought proper lighting in the living room was so important that I even included it on my list of goals to accomplish before turning 27, so there's one more task accomplished.

When I decided on this lamp based off of great reviews from Pottery Barn's website I had completely forgotten that my mom actually owned one. So John and I had fun poking around her's to make sure knobs turned easily (the only new lamps we ever purchased have an awful problem with the knobs getting stuck when turning the lamp on or off--incredibly frustrating when trying to go to bed!) and the base felt sturdy. I'm happy to say that even John walked away impressed by the overall quality, and he's a pretty tough critic when it comes to products from more expensive chain stores.

Now all that's left to do is make a trip to a store to claim my lovely, new lamp!

Roman Shades for the Nursery

2012-01-04T11:10:00.000-05:00

Months ago I bought fabric to make roman shades for Grace's room. I've put off making them for so long because I thought I wanted very crisp shades like this:

image via 6th street design school

But shades that fold like this require gluing wooden dowels along the back, similar to the rungs of a ladder, and that means creatively blocking off a major portion of the house while glue dries. I could just picture myself facing multiple tantrums as I repeatedly tell Grace, "no, you can't have the brightly colored fabric or the glue or fun looking sticks." So I pushed window treatments to the recesses of my mind until I saw these lovely shades:

both images via noelle wright decor

I love the delicate feeling these would bring to a little girl's room so much more than the straight ones, and the best part is it takes away all the trouble of dealing with glue and wooden dowels! Hopefully, now that I've removed some of the trickier aspects, I'll feel up to completing this project in the next week or two.

C&O Canal

2012-01-03T10:32:00.002-05:00

We got to take Grace for a walk along the C&O Canal yesterday. The trip was surprisingly eventful for her with glimpses of the mwa (otherwise known as river water), a goggie (dog), horses, and even a train. On our drive home we witnessed a couple snow flurries and stopped for some hot chocolate. You pretty much couldn't have come up with a more picturesque way to spend a weekend afternoon, and it leaves me thinking we should make more room in our weeks for brief adventures like this.

Resolution for 2012

2012-01-02T16:13:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a fun and safe time ringing in 2012. We spent the evening at my mom's house playing some intense rounds of Apples to Apples.

Though I don't typically have New Year's resolutions now that I make a list of goals at each birthday, I did decide that one thing I'd really like to make a point of in the new year is taking better care of myself. In the second half of last year I made some effort by enrolling in oil painting classes and setting up biweekly babysitting for Grace, but I feel like I'm generally in need of an overhaul. It's about more than just carving out time for myself; it's about becoming a healthier person physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

My hope in doing this is to break some of those cycles in which I seem to repeatedly enter that add stress to life and rob it of joy. I think it will mean the difference between just surviving each day and actually appreciating my life. I have no idea how I'll break this down over the course of a year; maybe I'll just see what each month brings or maybe I'll come up with something slightly more regimented. But most likely I'll share my thoughts and progress along the way.

I wish you all the very best in 2012!

The Bowling Ball Gift

2011-12-29T11:04:00.000-05:00

Awhile back I set up a pinterest account. For those of you not familiar with pinterest it is a way to visually archive image links from the internet. I use it for everything from cataloguing decorating/gardening ideas, tagging gift ideas for people, and keeping a wish list of items for myself. Using this has really helped declutter my harddrive and keep inspiration where I actually see it, and for John it takes a lot of the stress out of coming up with gift ideas for me.

It has given me a little chuckle though that the one item on my list he would benefit from made it into my stocking this year.

He's much sneakier than I ever imagined.

All joking aside I'm really enjoying my new book. Yesterday I made my first boule, and it turned out nicely.

The magic in this bread baking technique is that you quickly mix (no kneading required!) a large batch of wetter than average dough which sits in your refrigerator for as long as two weeks. Anytime you need more bread you just cut off a hunk and let it rise for about 30 minutes while the oven preheats then bake for another 30 minutes.

I've got a couple items on order from amazon, like an oven thermometer for accurate temperature readings and a pizza peel, which should make the whole process even easier than it already is. But I could easily see myself getting hooked (baking pun not intended) on this and nixing bread from the grocery list permanently. Wouldn't that just make my sneaky husband's year?

Decision, Decisions

2011-12-27T22:12:00.002-05:00

I have a little money from Christmas, and I'm trying to decide what to do with it. At first I thought I'd put it towards a new vacuum cleaner, since our 5 1/2 year old one makes me crazy and is really meant for carpets, not wood floors, but it made me feel really grumpy to consider using gift money for cleaning items. I mean good grief nothing says lame housewife more than, "isn't this new vacuum I got myself swell?!" So now I've got some options to mull over.

Option #1: Purchase some artwork

This photograph by Irene Suchocki is striking and would be a great addition to my small, but gradually growing art collection.

Option #2: Invest in frames for existing artwork

One of my goals for this year was to put some artwork up on the very bare walls of my home. Frames definitely add up when you need more than just one or two and are something I've put off purchasing for this very reason.

Option #3: Purchase a table lamp for the living room

Lamps are ridiculously expensive! I know you can sometimes find a good one at a thrift store, but being down to one car and having a toddler means superfluous trips to stores don't happen. Inexpensive lamps at places like target or ikea still seem like a bad deal to me for the quality you get, which leaves me purchasing a nicer, but more expensive one. Dropping that kind of money on a light makes me cringe so the fact that Christmas money would make it a freebie is pretty nice. Here are a couple that I've been considering for the living room:

So there you have it. I know to some people none of these would make their list of things on which to spend extra money, but any of these options would make me happy. I'll be sure to share when I've made my decision.

P.S. - What do people do with money they receive for their children? Buy diapers or clothes? Putting it in a college/savings fund kind of seems a waste with interest rates not coming close to matching the rapidly increasing cost of education, but clothes just seem like such a short term use.

Happy Birthday!

2011-12-27T11:16:00.002-05:00

Today is John's 28th birthday! He is such a wonderful husband, father, and person, and I'm so thankful to have him in my life. The poor guy had to spend this morning at the doctor's office. He pulled a muscle in his upper back and has been pretty uncomfortable the last few days. With rest he should make a full recovery soon but what a way to spend your birthday.

Back injury aside, I hope 28 is a great year for you my love!

19 Months

2011-12-22T11:21:00.002-05:00

A few days behind on this, but here is Grace in all her 19 month old glory!

Lila's Cooking Segment

2011-12-21T11:24:00.001-05:00

Lila our host shows us what she'll be making this evening as her guest star Grace watches from the side.

Witty banter ensues as Lila begins mixing up the batter. Grace talks about her recent babyGap modeling campaign and lets us in on an exciting project currently in the works.

The guest makes herself a little too comfortable in Lila's kitchen and the show comes to an awkward end.

If You Give A Knitter A Lobotomy...

2011-12-20T22:32:00.001-05:00

This is the front page ad on the Joann Fabrics mailer I received today. It pretty much sums up why I cringe when people call me a crafter or label my eventual office in the downstairs the craft room.

But you know what the worst part of this front page ad is? There were other projects that didn't make the cut. People actually said, "that one there is better than all the rest we've seen; slap that sucker on the front page!"

Please knit responsibly people.

My Artistic Wise Man

2011-12-20T18:18:00.000-05:00

I've been working my way through The Art Spirit by Robert Henri, and I'm convinced that for any creative person it is a must read. The book is a collection of lectures and bits of wisdom Henri gave his painting students back in the early 20th century. My copy is quickly becoming a marked up as I underline and make notations practically every paragraph. So I wanted to share some of my favorite passages thus far with you.

Art when really understood is the provence of every human being. It is simply a question of doing things, anything well. It is not an outside, extra thing.

Do some great work, Son! Don't try to paint good landscapes. Try to paint canvases that will show how interesting landscape looks to you--your pleasure in the thing. Wit. There are lots of people who can make sweet colors, nice tones, nice shape of landscape, all done in nice broad and intelligent-looking brushwork. Courbet showed in every work what a man he was, what a head and heart he had.

Every student should put down in some form or other his findings. All any man can hope to do is to add his fragment to the whole. No man can be final, but he can record his progress, and whatever he records is so much done in the thrasing out of the whole thing. What he leaves is so much for others to use as stones to step on or stones to avoid.

An interest in the subject; something you want to say definitely about the subject; this is the first condition of a portrait. The processes of painting spring from this interest, this definite thing to be said. Completion does not depend on material representation. The work is done when that special thing has been said.

It is really not important whether one's vision is as great as that of another. It is a personal question as to whether one shall live in and deal with his greatest moments of happiness.

If you have an artist on your life or perhaps on your Christmas list to shop for a copy of this book is sure to be well received.

Family Gathering

2011-12-19T13:53:00.000-05:00

We had a December birthday party/early Christmas at my Dad's house this past Saturday. My brother and his kids were there along with my cousin Kevin and my grandparents. Apparently December is the month to be born, because there were a total of five people receiving gifts!

My brother and his kids also opened their Christmas gifts from the family since we won't see them next weekend. I knit hats for my niece and nephew and was amazed that my nephew Devin was actually excited about his. You can see him sporting his fancy cashmere and wool blend hat in the picture above.

For those who are interested half of the pictures from the weekend are edited and up on my flickr account under "December Gatherings 2011"; I should have the rest finished in the next day or two.

Let's Pretend

2011-12-12T16:16:00.001-05:00

I don't really know when kids start playing pretend, but this week Grace came up with a fun new game. Before I tell you about the game though I must explain that my daughter is a trash digger. She doesn't actually get into the real garbage can; she just likes rooting around in the recycling for a new "toy" once in awhile. As much as I try to discourage this pastime I figure there are far worse things she could play with than cardboard.

So this week Grace decided her latest recycling bin treasure is an empty raisin container, and her favorite thing to do with it is pretend to feed herself and us imaginary raisins. Here's Grace eating some pretend raisins today:

And taking it one step further, this morning she was trailing behind me eating imaginary raisins while I searched for her sippy cup. As I'm bent over grabbing her cup out from beneath the coffee table I feel a little hand drop an imaginary raisin down the back of my pants. I guess mom needs to trade in the imaginary belt for a real one!

Weekend Away

2011-12-06T11:16:00.001-05:00

John and I were able to sneak off this weekend baby and dachshund free for a little trip to Philadelphia. It consisted of lots of walking, good food, and total freedom from parenting responsibilities; in other words it was wonderful.

Prior to our trip I had no idea that Philadelphia had such an impressive collection of art! Most of Saturday was occupied by visiting statues, the Rodin Museum (that was unfortunately closed for renovations but still had his larger pieces outside for viewing), and the Philadelphia Museum of Art. We

could have used at least another day to see everything the museum had to offer; as it was we only saw half.

John quaking before the Gates of Hell by Rodin.

Since we were only there for the weekend we ran out of time to see the more historical sites like the Liberty Bell, but the way I see it that just leaves a reason to go back for another visit in the future.

Striving for Balance

2011-12-02T10:58:00.001-05:00

I've been stuck in a cycle the last year. Every few weeks, or even days, I hit a point where I just can't take the stay-at-home mom routine that has become my life. Always cooking, always feeling obligated to clean, that nagging sense that to somehow validate my worth (since no paycheck will do that for me) I have to be on my feet taking care of something until I go to sleep. Just thinking about doing that imaginary routine makes me feel exhausted and angry.

The truth is no one says I have to do all of that stuff, but when I get to this point in the cycle I always feel so mad at the situation that I rebel. I do the absolute minimum to get through a day. When I reach this place John and I always talk about how something has to change. However a satisfactory solution is never reached, and usually the meltdown throws enough of a cathartic experience my way to pacify me so the cycle can begin again.

As John and I went through this once more last weekend I decided it was time to work at a real solution. *fingers crossed* I think we have the beginnings of one.

The more I've explored oil painting the last few months, the more I feel like I may have found my direction in life. It is exciting, challenging, down right frustrating at times, and real work. I could see myself pursuing this for years and not getting bored. I've begun to think about getting into local shows and eventually selling work. In order to make those things happen I need to set aside real time to develop my skills. So I arranged babysitting for Grace at a neighbor's house twice a week for two hours at a time. In the future the amount of time or days may need to increase, but I think this is a good starting point.

I'm still fighting back moments of guilt over paying someone else to watch my child. I have to remind myself that this is a long term investment in a potential career, along with a short term investment of saving my sanity, which will make for a much more pleasant home. Because we all know the saying: if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Black Friday Deals

2011-11-28T12:47:00.001-05:00

You'll never see me out shopping on black Friday; I leave that sort of madness to the die hard discount shoppers. Even though I didn't actually step intos a store last friday I was still able to take advantage of some great online sales. I ordered a couple things that I'd book marked for John for his birthday and Christmas stocking (this year we decided to keep gift giving simple and only stuff stockings for one another). I also picked out a new winter coat for myself at Old Navy; with their half off sale plus my $10 off coupon I only paid $36!

Those buttons will probably get switched out for something a little less cheep and plastic-like, but overall I think it is a pretty stylish looking coat for the sale price.

After looking around today I kind of get the feeling that cyber Monday is on the out. All the best online deals seemed to happen on Friday or stores would split up their sales from Thursday through Monday. I can't say that I'd mind since I tend to have the urge to do a little shopping post Thanksgiving but don't care about saving a few bucks enough to risk getting pepper sprayed by bargain-crazed shoppers.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T22:18:00.001-05:00

Hope you all had a wonderful day surrounded by family and friends!

Basement Update #3

2011-11-23T09:38:00.001-05:00

With 95% of the framing completed and the pipes roughed in for the bathroom the basement renovation is so close to the drywall stage! From there it is just a couple little steps and the downstairs will be a real, livable space. The big hold up to this happening is that we need to find an electrician.

We're midway through interviewing electricians. The first one was a definite 'no'. The man they sent over for the estimate was just odd and came back with a really high figure for the job. Yesterday, we met with a rep from a local company a friend recommended. She was really nice and clearly knew her stuff when it came to lighting design. I'm hoping she comes back with a good figure (and especially hoping I don't have to wait until after the holiday weekend to hear one), but we still have one more electrician that a neighbor used and loved to meet with next week.

During this lull in construction I've been working on potential furniture layouts for the main area that will act as a media room and play area for Grace. We use baseboard heat in the house so these layouts are pretty important for seeing where heating units need to be placed. Here's a rough floor plan I've drawn of the main room:

The sectional from West Elm isn't necessarily the one we'll go with, but we decided that when we can afford it a sectional of some sort is what we'd really like to put down here. The trick will be finding one sized proportionally to the room; it's on the narrow side, and most standard sized sectionals wouldn't leave enough of a walkway.

The built in media wall will be another down-the-road project. Our panel box is actually located in the top right corner of the room, right behind where I've placed the media wall. My hope is that I could sharpen my woodworking skills enough to build this unit custom with shallow cabinet doors on the top half that would hide the panel box, yet still make it easily accessible. To keep things symmetrical there'd be a second cabinet on the opposite side of the unit where DVD's and video games could be stored. It would be similar to, but not exactly, like this:

image via HGTV

Of course all of this is way down the line. But it is still fun to think about and, as mentioned before, informs how we have the electrician install fixtures.

18 Months Outtakes

2011-11-21T14:24:00.001-05:00

Only one picture can make the cut to be the official monthly shot of Grace, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other fun moments captured! This time around when Grace wasn't bouncing all over the chair she was intrigued by her toes. I think she must have discovered some sock lint stuck in there recently, because she keeps separating her toes (or on occasion mine) in an intensive search.

Aside from a foot obsession Grace got her hair cut for the very first time this past month. She's sporting bangs up front, however the back of her hair remains untouched. Once I get a better pair of scissors I think a cute little bob hairdo will be happening.

A note for family: I'm working today to get Grace's flickr album up to date. In the future if you'd like a picture of Grace to print out you'll find full size images in her album on flickr. All images on the blog are lower resolution and won't make for good prints!

18 Months

2011-11-18T17:27:00.001-05:00

The 3-Sleeved Pretzel Cardigan

2011-11-15T15:23:00.001-05:00

I think I'm under a sweater knitting curse. Perhaps I unknowingly jostled a woman with magical powers in a yarn store as a young knitter. To exact her revenge she cast a spell that would doom my every attempt at making torso coverings out of yarn. What she might not have counted on is that I am stubborn and possibly even a little slow in the head.

Even though the corrected pattern still failed to catch a major defect causing me to have to pull a part my first sleeve and start over, despite the fact that I ran out of yarn on the second sleeve when I'd ordered extra from the start, and taking into account that where I'd purchased the yarn no longer carries it forcing me to go on a internet-wide search for an extra skein, I am stubbornly, stupidly determined to finish this cardigan. And I know full well that once assembled the sweater curse will certainly cause it to be the most unflattering thing ever draped across a human body or, if not that, to spontaneously burst into flames, but that won't stop me from completing this project.

The second sleeve is finished, the first is mostly pulled apart, and the third is just cast on as of yesterday. Its times like these I'm glad I'm not an octopus.

2011-11-14T14:28:00.001-05:00

I've got to be honest and say I'm really not feeling this whole Monday thing today. The weekend sped by in a flurry of yard work. We, meaning mostly John, finished spreading the first pile of top soil in the backyard and actually threw down some seed, along with a wood fiber mat to protect it from hungry critters and erosion. Had I not hurt my back we would have been a little more on track with the proper planting time for grass but figured at worst we'll be out about $5 in seed. Maybe we'll even get lucky and have something sprout. Either way we needed to get that first pile of soil spred and covered to save ourselves from a winter full of muddy Toby paws.

The front of the house got a little pruning attention in the form of dead mums being cut back. I relocated an awkwardly placed rose bush a little closer to the front door, but in doing so may have killed it. If it goes I won't be too heartbroken since it was never really a favorite. Now the long bed up front is almost baren, and will probably stay that way until spring. I should probably give the neighbors who have to look directly at my yard something nice for Christmas to make up for the awful view.

On a happier weekend note John's parents came over for dinner last night, and we got to enjoy a fall/winter food staple: chicken pot pie. Barbara, or BaBa as Grace calls her, brought the most adorable poncho that she knit for Grace. Here are a few shots of Grace wearing it as she reviews her ABC's:

Five Ballerinas

2011-11-08T14:18:00.000-05:00

A fun light and figure study based off a photograph by Alfred Eisenstaedt.

He's A Keeper

2011-11-04T15:35:00.000-04:00

The last month has really worn me down with one health issue after another. Two weeks of nasty withdrawal symptoms were soon followed with a back injury, and once that started to show improvement I got hit with a cold that has been circulating throughout our household. As a result our house is a mess, we've been eating poorly, and my goal of losing this baby/zoloft weight seems farther away than ever before.

So yesterday when I eagerly opened up a massive yarn order I placed for Christmas gifts I was disappointed almost to the point of tears to see that the one skein of yarn I'd ordered for myself was not included. After reviewing my order form it became clear that it was not an error on the company's behalf but on mine. It was a silly situation that I'd normally shrug off without much thought, but yesterday it felt like the cherry on top of this month's poop sundae.

Knowing how emotionally run down I was feeling John surprised me by coming home early with flowers and chocolates from my favorite shop downtown. The back pain and runny nose might still be hanging around, but it all bothers me a little less when I'm looking at such a sweet reminder of my husband's love for me.

Late Night Talks

2011-11-02T15:11:00.001-04:00

One of the most surprising things I learned shortly after marrying John is that he talks in his sleep. Not just a few words mumbled, complete conversations, and of course the next day he has absolutely no recollection of what he's said. Just for fun I put together a small collection of my favorite nighttime conversations with John over the years:

(John stirs in his sleep while I'm turning a page in my book)
Me: Oh I'm sorry am I making too much noise?
John: No...it's okay. It's not as loud as my rocket launcher.

John: Toby...stop it! Toby, quiet down!
(Toby is our dachshund for those not in the know.)
Me: He's not making any noise John; he's just sleeping.
John: Still. He's turning into a big sassy rat.

John: I won't divide by zero.
Me: (trying to stifle laughter)
John: huh?
Me: Do you know what you just said?
John: No, what?
Me: You said, "I won't divide by zero."
John: Oh...the consequences of that would be enormous!
(The next morning.)
Me: Do you remember what you said last night?
John: No, what?
Me: You said, "I won't divide by zero."
John: Oh...the consequences of that would be enormous!

(I wake John up to turn the light off.)
Me: Goodnight.
John: Goodnight Grace.
Me: I'm not Grace. I'm Courtney.
John: Oh. Have fun.
Me: Huh?
John: Have fun...with the helicopter.

Since I usually forget them if I just go to sleep afterwards, I've started writing them down. Maybe by the time we're old and gray I'll have enough to make a book for our family to chuckle over.

Toasty Toes

2011-11-01T15:48:00.002-04:00

While I'm still trucking along with knitting the pretzel cardigan, I got the itch for some instant gratification knitting over the weekend and whipped up a pair of slippers for Grace.

I altered the baby socks pattern from More Last-Minute Knitted Gifts to work with a chunky yarn I had leftover from one of my many sweater failures.

A little no-slip carpet padding on the soles should keep Grace from doing a wipeout every time she takes off on the hardwood floors.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T09:48:00.000-04:00

Wishing you all a fun and safe Halloween!

On Anger...

2011-10-29T17:39:00.000-04:00

I got some news today that really upset me. Without going into the particulars of it I'll just say that a person did something hurtful to me and those I know, one more incident in a long string of hurtful actions from them. The injustice of the situation, paired with my complete helplessness to affect it, quickly took me from merely frustrated to desiring to pour out my anger on this person while letting them know just how selfish and morally bankrupt I think they are.

As I felt my anger growing further into rage I felt like maybe I just needed to pray...you know to keep from inducing an aneurysm. And that's when I felt a gentle reminder that I was setting myself up as a judge over mankind, a position I have no business occupying.

Did Christ's blood not also have to be shed for my sins as well as this person's? My own selfishness and immoral deeds put Him on that cross just as much as anyone else's did. How can I place myself in judgement when I rightfully deserved to be judged and instead received mercy?

This doesn't mean I shouldn't be upset or even angry at this person, but anger should soon give way to forgiveness in the understanding that judgement and wrath is God's right, not mine. And if God can extend forgiveness in place of judgement I should be able to as well.

This is an unusual post topic, and not one you'll frequently see popping up around here, since writing on spirituality can easily feel preachy to me. However, it seemed honest, not to mention a good reminder to myself, to share this line of thoughts on a particularly challenging subject for me.

Changes

2011-10-28T12:47:00.003-04:00

I'm happy to say that my back, while not fully recovered, is feeling a lot better than it was earlier this week. During my down time I worked a bit on giving the ol' blog a facelift. There are still some little (and a couple big) tweaks I'd like to make, but overall it's heading in the direction I'd like it to go.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Learning I'm Not Invincible

2011-10-25T14:04:00.001-04:00

Depending on how faithful a reader you are, you may remember when I tried to pass myself off as a bobcat in order to shovel several tons of rocks out of my backyard. Well surprise surprise! I'm not a heavy duty piece of machinery. It took just the right little things (i.e. basic cleaning and toddler tending) and general back soreness shifted into a full blown injury.

My doctor prescribed some muscle relaxers that I've just taken and believes with rest I should make a full recovery soon. I'll probably be absent for a good bit of the week while I rest, but before I signed off I just wanted to share a word of caution that if any of you are thinking about replacing heavy duty machinery with your own muscle and determination step away from the shovel and let a robot do that work for you.

Bathroom Mood Board

2011-10-21T14:20:00.001-04:00

Now that the plumbing is almost finished I have been giving a lot more thought to the details of the bathroom. Many aspects are still up in the air, but the one thing we've firmly decided on is a pedestal tub. Our last apartment had a huge claw foot tub, and up until my pregnancy I just about lived in that thing! I got spoiled. Now our 1960's mauve tub that holds about 3 inches of water just doesn't do it for me; it's vintage in the bad way folks.

Thought not completely to scale here is the floor plan for the bathroom:

The wall between the vanity and toilet will hide the massive drainage pipe that runs down from the upstairs bathrooms. I actually don't mind it being there since I don't consider the toilet to be a particularly attractive part of the bathroom. At any rate the tub will have a deck mounted faucet that is centerset, rather than off to one side, for maximum lounging comfort. We're also seriously considering heated floors instead of a baseboard heater. The square footage of the bathroom is under 50 ft and only half that would require heating mats. So the cost, while certainly more than a small baseboard heater, would be reasonably affordable.

As I said before the details on the bathroom are still in the early stages, but I really love some of the key elements in the photograph. Lots of recessed lights, a large mirror to bounce back light and give the illusion of more space, and light colors overall are what I'd like to see happen. The idea of having a flush fitting vanity is appealing to me more as I consider storage needs, and the possibility of doing a tile rug in front of the tub has crossed my mind more than once.

I think the next big step will be to look at tile in person and see where things land with our budget. While I know my first soak is still many months away, I can't help but daydream about relaxing in my future mom cave!

17 Months

2011-10-20T12:42:00.001-04:00

Strange Advertisement

2011-10-19T14:41:00.000-04:00

If this ad were a science fiction movie the air filter would soon discover the true source of all the germs and seek to eliminate it. Thankfully, the heroine has a PhD in software engineering and kicking ass.

Another Basement Update

2011-10-18T15:40:00.000-04:00

We've had pretty extensive plumbing work happening in our basement since Friday. The floor had to be jack hammered in order to lay drainage piping for the bathtub in addition to moving a few other pipes around. Tomorrow we're actually supposed to have our very first inspection (there will be at least three more before the basement is officially finished) to make sure the county is happy with how pipes are laid before the concrete gets patched. We'll also get some holes knocked in our living room wall directly above all this in order to run venting for the drainage pipes; as with any good renovation it seems that things have to get messier before they get better!

Last week our carpenter spent several days reframing walls that got cut up when the sump pump drains were installed. He also started work on framing out knee walls next to the columns. I decided to go with a shorter wall in this area to keep as much natural light in the basement as possible as well as to allow me to keep an eye on Grace if I'm exercising in this little room while she's playing in the family room. In the next round of carpentry work the knee wall will be extended just a little beyond the support columns, and those columns will get wrapped to look like decorative box columns. Eventually, once dry wall is installed, I plan to add moulding along the beam to make it an architectural feature instead of just a rectangle sticking out of our ceiling.

P.S. - If the walls look warped in the pictures it's not the case in real life. I used my wide angle lens for these shots, and the distortion that happens along the edges can really mess with straight edges. It's a great lens for portraits but not really meant for this type of application. A good quality wide angle lens might be making an appearance on my Christmas list this year :)

The Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-17T11:08:00.001-04:00

This Saturday we got to do one of my favorite fall activities: visit the pumpkin patch! Aside from being so windy that John's chili cheese dog blew over, it was the perfect fall day.

Testing for ripeness.

From the way Grace was stumbling around the pumpkin patch with her glasses on John thought she looked like a celebrity freshly released from rehab.

In case you're wondering how Grace went about picking her pumpkin it was done by the sit test. This one was too round.

Too short.

Just right!

I hope everyone else got to enjoy the beautiful fall weekend!

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Brushes

2011-10-15T15:59:00.001-04:00

I forgot my brushes and palette knives in class last week, but that didn't stop me from doing a painting when the mood struck today! After toying with the idea of just using my fingers I remembered that I had a cake frosting spatula just sitting around in my baking supply drawer. So while John mowed the yard, I "frosted" a canvas with some oil paint. I'll wait until I get my brushes back this Tuesday before signing my newest piece :)

Oops!

2011-10-12T10:44:00.000-04:00

I was attempting to spiff up the ol' blog and kind of messed things up. (While I love how easy blogger is to use, I wish they had a better option for testing out potential changes before applying them to your live version!) So now I've got this temporary set up going until I can get my new layout up and running.

More Long Weekend Happenings

2011-10-11T14:10:00.000-04:00

John fixed our tv that had stopped showing a picture the week before.

Grace and John had fun playing outside at Grandma's house.

We finished removing rocks from the backyard on Sunday (one day ahead of schedule too!) and had 7 yards of top soil delivered. Thankfully, putting soil in goes much more quickly than taking rocks out. Depending on the weather I'd like to have the soil and seed laying wrapped up by the end of Sunday. All in all I'd say it was a productive and fun three day weekend!

2011-10-10T11:30:00.000-04:00

On Saturday we took an actual trip over a river and through the woods to Grandmother's house. Lots of delicious food was consumed, and Grace was doted on every minute. Grandma even busted out her fancy carousel; needless to say a certain blonde-haired toddler found it fascinating!

A Cool Treat

2011-10-07T11:41:00.000-04:00

Someone had her first bowl of ice cream this week! The coldness threw her off a bit as you can see by the quizzical brow in the second picture, but I think she is sold on it now.

You Can Call Me Bobcat

2011-10-06T18:56:00.001-04:00

Ever since having Grace I get this question a lot, "so do you work or do you just stay home?" To which I respond, "no, I stay home with my daughter," and then get this response, "oh that's nice." I know people don't mean it to be rude, but sometimes that whole exchange really irks me. It sets me up to say that what I do all day is not work. Even without that sort of interaction I tend to feel that since I don't bring in a paycheck what I do has little value. This week though I can say without hesitation that I earned my keep. Allow me to introduce the diminishing rock pit:

Be sure to click on the photo to get the whole panoramic experience!

That's 32 feet by 30 feet of rock-filled awfulness people, and aside from a few post-mowing moments here and there for John, it has been all me shoveling this bad boy during Grace's naps. Just renting a bobcat to move the rocks would have been the sane thing to do, but I was feeling really cheap after the recent basement and septic expenses.

The rocks are dumped off to the side until we decide whether we'll use some for layering underground in any future patio or shed projects; otherwise we'll just post them for pick up on Craigslist.

My goal right now is to be rock-free in the backyard by the end of the holiday weekend. Once the last barrowful is removed I can start talking to local landscaping companies about delivering a dump truck full of topsoil to lay down before we seed. Even though it is a lot of work I am so excited to have a usable backyard that feels like ours, instead of someone else's abandoned bad decision. And come spring I know Toby and Grace will enjoy a big grassy place to play!

Pretzel Cardigan Update

2011-10-03T14:39:00.000-04:00

For those who are curious about the status of my latest knitting project I've finished the left side and am two pretzels into the right side. Here's a shot of the finished left side:

If you're wondering why it is still on the needle that's because you join the left and right sides at the top using a three-needle bind-off to make the collar. It sounds complicated, but I've done the bind-off technique before with very minimal swearing.

With the temperature quickly dropping here in Maryland it's a good thing I'm moving along on this project. I'll need something warm to take Grace to the pumpkin patch in after all!

Painting Update

2011-09-30T15:02:00.000-04:00

I seem to have a growing collection of partially finished paintings. A big source of the problem is that I haven't been allowing myself to paint what I really want to which are portraits. I've always been interested in capturing a mood or a brief moment of emotion when it comes to photography, and its no surprise that I'd feel the same subject matter attraction with painting. That being said, for some reason I made up a stupid rule in my head that I'm not allowed to paint portraits until I become really skilled. When I realized how silly this rule was after starting yet another painting towards which I felt only marginally interested I came home and began working on some more exciting subjects.

The first portrait, that still needs more work, is nothing special, and actually when I came back to it yesterday I mixed some awful flesh tone that makes her look like a zombie. Feel free to have a chuckle people.

Definitely not pretty right now.

Needing a little space (not to mention drying time) from portrait number one I started a larger painting from a picture I took at the boardwalk one night over the summer. Right now it is only in the sketched stage, but I'll share how my paintings start just so you can see the process.

All sketched in and ready for a base coat!

2011-09-29T23:07:00.000-04:00

Oh fun fun fun! I just took the plunge/bit the bullet/whatever-other-cheesy-phrase-applies and bought myself a fancy bundle of photoshop actions I've been eyeing since July! A request from a parent for more pictures of Grace on my blog was my excuse to make the purchase. If I'm going to post more pictures that grandparents will be printing out they've got to be top notch right? Actually, now that I think about it maybe the grandparents should be purchasing this stuff for me, their part-time photographer/photo editor. (Just kidding grandparents)

Anyway, I didn't have long to play around with my new toy before bed tonight, but here's a glimpse of what just two minutes of tinkering got me:

Prepare yourself for cute overload family.

Bleh.

2011-09-28T16:13:00.000-04:00

I've not been feeling so great lately and probably won't be for a week or more. After being fed up with some of the side effects I'd been experiencing with zoloft I decided to try a different medication last week. The switch went so unsuccessfully that I came to the conclusion that I'd like to try getting off any medication altogether for a number of reasons. a) Aside from the normal hormonal fluctuations I feel like my old self and have for some time, b) the side effects of the medication are outweighing any benefit I receive from them now, and c) I recently learned that the reaction I had to stopping in the spring may not have been an indication that I wasn't ready to go off but in fact just the very nasty withdrawal symptoms many people experience.

So I'm slowly working on tapering down my dosage; it isn't without some bumps though. On any given day I get headaches, flu-like symptoms, can be snappy, feel physically exhausted, and have lame dreams (nothing fun or even scary, just so bland that I get confused about what actually happened in a day and what was just a dream). I hope I can avoid the absolute worst withdrawal symptom I experienced last time for which I've coined the term: brain nausea. That's the nice way of saying that it feels like my head is trying to throw up my brain.

Anyway, I'm not writing this for people to pity me. I just want people to know that if I seem distant or out of it the next couple weeks there's a reason. I'm not trying to be a jerk; my brain is just a zoloft junky that wants its fix.

2011-09-26T14:20:00.002-04:00

Because everyone knows ducks make the best pillows.

Grown Up Furniture

2011-09-23T17:07:00.000-04:00

At first I went to title this post "Adult Furniture" but then realized that sounded kind of wrong. Anyway, today I hit a milestone; I purchased my first piece of grown up furniture.

Isn't she purdy? For months now I've been casually on the look out for an occasional table just like this to go in a corner of my living room. While waiting to meet a friend for lunch today, I happened to check One Kings Lane to see what items were being featured, came across the table above, and decided this was "it." (For those not familiar with online stores like this they get a limited amount of stock from different vendors and put them up for sale at a discounted price. It's fun to see what they have from time to time, but definitely not for the impulsive purchaser as all sales are final!)

Now I've certainly bought furniture in the last five years John and I have been married, but I wouldn't classify any of our purchases as being truly grown up furniture i.e. something of quality construction that will last many years. Most of our bigger items are hand downs, budget buys (like Ikea), or yard/thrift sale items I intend to makeover. It felt exciting and a tad extravagant hitting the purchase button on something that didn't fit into one of those three categories. And even though I don't intend to get out of control with this sort of thing I do plan on making a few more purchases like this in the future as we save for them. A solid wood sleigh bed and good quality lamps are at the top of my list.

My table isn't scheduled to arrive for another two weeks, but I'm already having fun imagining what I'll put on it!

16 Months

2011-09-23T16:35:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how much Grace is starting to look like a little girl instead of a baby; she's lost a lot of chub in the last few months! What is especially strange to me is that even though she's gotten taller since she's thinned out a lot of her clothes from late winter to early spring fit her better now for the fall than they did in spring. Previously, those zippers and buttons just wouldn't close on her chunky midsection!

It has also become apparent that Grace will be a "girly" girl. She loves clothes, hats, shoes (especially the shoes!), purses, and now hair bows. Babies are her current obsession; there is even a baby song and dance that I'll try to catch on video for you all. Recently, Grace and I have been working on the alphabet song. Grace's current rendition goes something like this, "a, b...b......o, p" and then tapers off into gibberish. An increasing amount of temper tantrums and foot stomping are happening, but for now we're finding ways to handle them.

Pretzel Cable Cardigan

2011-09-19T16:06:00.000-04:00

The last two weeks I've been working on this:

Since a pile of knit up yarn doesn't really mean much until the end, I'll give you a clue of what it's eventually (supposed) to look like.

I've finished the back and am working on the left, front piece. The back was a good warm up for me after so many months away from knitting; just lots of knits and purls with a little bit of shaping along the way. The front though is where this sweater earns its skill level of "experienced" with side and middle shaping on separate intervals, a faux rib repeat to keep on track, and a semi-complicated cable knit pattern. I've never cable knit before, heck I've never knit a complete sweater that was wearable before, but I'm taking a risk and so far having good results without too much frustration. I think part of that is thanks to using a several year old pattern with all the errors corrected.

Even with all my success at this pattern so far, I had to laugh at myself when I finally saw why this sweater is called the "Pretzel Cable Cardigan" last night.

Do you see the pretzel? I couldn't make out the pretzel design on the magazine picture and spent a lot of time scratching my head over the name until last night when I completed an entire round of the cable pattern. Of course now I'm going to crave soft pretzels with mustard every time I work on this sweater. Thankfully we have an awesome pretzel place downtown, and John shouldn't need much convincing to go on a pretzel date :)

Artists At Work

2011-09-16T09:28:00.001-04:00

Grace's new crayons and coloring book were met with a mixture of delight and frustration. The book tended to slip around on the table, and I think coloring horizontally might be more challenging than working on a vertical surface. A tiny easel might be in our future.

Last week I started this water lily painting from an old photograph I had on my computer. It still needs a good bit of work, but I think it's heading in the right direction. Tuesday was my first painting class with my new instructor; it was amazing. The teacher was just pouring out a continuous flow of knowledge, and he really is great about giving constructive feedback. I could rattle off a list of all the things I learned in those three hours, but I'll briefly cover my top three.

Use the biggest brush you can early on in your painting to avoid getting caught up in detail work too soon.
Don't hold your brush like a pencil. Hold it towards the end with just the tips of your fingers. This allows you to keep a better distance from your painting, results in gentler brush strokes, and with practice gives better range of motion and expression of movement. I'm sure glad I learned this one before I painted for years with the wrong technique; even so, it is still tricky to adjust.
Think about what you want to be the focal point, and use different edge treatments to help direct the viewer's eye to that point. A hard edge on an object will draw the eye, while a soft edge is less attention grabbing. Up to this point I'd think about composition in terms of layout, but I'd been completely forgetting that as the artist I have control over the focal point.

In class I just worked on a still life the instructor had set up and stored my painting in the studio. Next week I'll have to remember to take a picture to share my progress.

What Grace Is Up To

2011-09-14T15:43:00.000-04:00

At almost 16 months Grace is one busy girl these days; it seems like each day she's doing or saying something new. Just for fun I thought I'd share some of her recent activities.

Giving kisses. Grace has learned how to blow and give kisses in the last month. If you're sitting on a chair there's a good chance your knee will be the recipient of more than a few. Toby's rump is also occasionally kissed; he gets very confused about this.
She's added a new sound animal to her line up. If asked what a bunny says she'll proudly tell you, "be-yup be-yup be-yup" (that's hippity hop for those who don't speak Gracie).
In a less positive move she managed to break my computer cord. So today Grace and I made a trip to Best Buy for a replacement cable.
And finally one that makes her Mom very proud, Grace is showing an increasing interest in art. Yesterday John found her with one of my notebooks and a pen creating her first independent pen and ink rendering.

John added the odd, big-lipped face, but otherwise the work is all Grace's. To indulge her growing interest I picked up a coloring book and crayons on our outing today. I'm pretty excited to see her get to work with them after she wakes up from her nap!

Happy Birthday Babs!

2011-09-12T16:54:00.000-04:00

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday. She is one of those amazing people who always has something nice to say. My step mom often says that I hit the jackpot with having Barbara as an in-law, and she's absolutely right. After all only the most wonderful of women deserve to have their husband's devotion tattooed on his arm for all to see:

Happy Birthday Barbara! I hope it's a great one!

Looks Like Rain

2011-09-07T15:14:00.000-04:00

I really don't mind rainy days, especially if life isn't running full steam ahead anyway. They encourage all sorts of wonderful things like drinking hot tea, reading a book in a quiet moment, working on a new knitting project, or even taking a nap while the baby sleeps. Unfortunately Toby and Grace don't feel the same way I do about rainy days; they're both pretty stir crazy after the long weekend of rain. And now seeing that it won't be letting up for some time I'll need to come up with some activities to keep Grace from crying while banging on the door to the deck. Thank goodness for the internet to aid in these situations! A million plus moms all eager to share how to engage a toddler.

Completely unrelated to the weather, I enrolled in a 12 week oil painting studio at the Delaplaine. It will be nice to have some dedicated time to paint each week, and a group setting for feedback on my work. Since the basement work last week I have yet to set up a spot in the house for painting. We spent a good bit of the weekend cleaning and shoving items that would typically be in the basement into John's office so I was not eager to have my painting supplies make another mess of the upstairs. But now I've decided that the corner in John's office where we've been storing things would make the perfect out of the way painting nook until the work on the basement is complete. If I can just get Grace to go down for an afternoon nap I might have a shot at setting it up.

15 Months

2011-09-06T10:38:00.000-04:00

Better late than never! Before we went on vacation I took Grace's 15 month pictures. This was by far the most challenging month due to Grace's current love of bouncing around on furniture. That poor duck got smashed and tossed about, and the session ended when Grace suddenly sprinted right for me off the front of the chair! Luckily I was on guard for that sort of behavior and caught her without any damage inflicted to her, me, or the camera.

Two Crazy Days Later...

2011-08-31T15:04:00.000-04:00

We now have a sump pump with drainage trenches, reinforced walls, and a properly assembled septic system. It was noisy, messy, and above all stressful, but I think we've done our best to insure the money we spend on the actual basement renovation doesn't get ruined down the line by water damage or worse.

The greenish stripes you see running up and down the basement wall are the carbon fiber straps we decided were the best option on the market for our reinforcement needs. It is almost unbelievable to think that such a thin piece of material paired with epoxies could be strong enough to support the weight of the wall, but after reading numerous scientific reports on them I feel confident they'll do the job.

You can see where the waterproofers installed the trenches along the base of the walls by the newly setting concrete. It will take almost a month for that to fully cure before we can have our carpenter come in and fix the framing that had to be removed. I didn't realize it would need that long until yesterday and am a little bummed I won't be able to have more "fun" work done until October.

I don't even want to get into everything that was going on with the septic. I'll simply leave it at either the previous home owner tried (and failed miserably) to do his own septic work or he found the most incompetent company around. It was a complete mess. Thankfully the workers yesterday were thorough about finding all possible problems. After seeing how much work they did and learning our drainage field hadn't been ruined by problems in the tank I happily paid them their hard earned money. Now it looks as if we have a bit of yard work on our hands.

Whatever Happened With The Basement?

2011-08-29T14:43:00.000-04:00

For those of you wondering what has happened with finishing our basement (ahem, lower level as my Grandma decided it should be called) here's an update.

After having a structural engineer come inspect a crack running along the back wall of our foundation we were informed that hydrostatic pressure is causing our wall to bow and it will eventually, if left unchecked, fail completely. After researching and interviewing a slew of companies we decided to have carbon fiber wall straps installed along with a sump pump to help relieve some of the pressure due to ground water. So far we've not had visible water in our ~~basement~~ lower level, but we have noticed a little bit of efflorescence, which is a sign of water being held in the blocks and actually reacting with the block.

Workers came today and have been jackhammering trenches along the walls to install the drainage pipes that will direct water into the sump pump. Tomorrow they'll finish up the last of the sump pump work and move onto installing the carbon fiber straps. Thanks to the company sending a double crew the work should be wrapped up by the end of the day tomorrow; if it had been a single crew this could have taken as much as five days! John's Dad was nice enough to watch Grace while the work is being done. Jackhammers and napping babies just don't mix well.

Now if the sump pump and wall reinforcement wasn't exciting enough, our septic system has backed up into the house. So nasty! Tomorrow our septic tank is being dug up, completely drained, and a camera will be snaked through the lines to check the integrity of the pipes and dry tank. John and I have our fingers crossed that the problem is only that the tank was overdue to be drained. I recently sorted through a stack of papers left by the previous owner and found that it's been five years since it was last done, which I'm learning is too long in septic ownership land. If the problem is more extensive though, we might be having to put the brakes completely on refinishing the lower level while those funds are directed towards the septic system.

All of this has and may continue to set us back on what I thought was a realistic schedule to have the second half of our house usable before winter. I suppose that's just how life and home ownership goes sometimes, but I can't say it isn't making me just a tad crazy.

Week 4 Painting

2011-08-26T14:28:00.000-04:00

If you're wondering where I disappeared off to the last week I was on vacation at the beach with John's family. We had a wonderful and relaxing time, aside from speed packing a day early to beat the hurricane Irene evacuation traffic. I even brought my paints with me to Assateague Island for my first go at plein aire painting, and guess what happened? The beach ate my painting!

After working on my little sea scape as much as I could until it needed to have the paint firm up a bit I started packing up. As I carefully grabbed my wet canvas to slide it into its case a sudden gust of wind blew it out of my hands and onto the sand...wet side down of course. It was a sandy mess that there really was no saving, which is fine given the painting wasn't all that great anyway.

I never ended up working on another painting during the trip, but I did take a bunch of photographs to use for painting inspiration. I share more on some of our fun beach adventures later. And since I don't have a painting to show you, I'll make up for it with some beach baby goodness.

Week 3 Painting

2011-08-15T18:23:00.000-04:00

I'm a little behind on my painting from last week; so it will actually be a two week piece. I imagine this will happen every once in awhile either when life gets especially busy or when I get more invested in getting a painting just right.

Today I spent some time getting the towel blocked out. Now everything needs a day or two to dry before I go in to refine shadows and highlights. This has been my favorite painting to work on so far; perhaps because I actually picked the subject matter? At any rate expect a finished version to show up later this week.

Cleaning Secret Weapon

2011-08-09T13:55:00.001-04:00

There are a lot of things I can't stand when it comes to housework, dishes, putting away laundry, and mopping to name a few, but there is one chore I sort of enjoy, dusting. For minimal work I get a whole lot of impact with dusting. Since I don't keep a lot of extra nick nacks or magazines around I skip the work of removing items, but really the reason dusting is my least hated chore is thanks to my secret weapon:

Image from Amazon

A car duster. Years ago John introduced me to the magic of using a car duster in the house. Because the fibers on the brush have wax on them, dust instantly sticks. The brush is big which allows you to dust tables and pictures in one or two passes; plus when your done dusting you get the satisfaction of beating the duster against a deck railing until it's clean. Lately I've been thinking this might be my goto house/apartment warming gift.

Does anyone else have a slightly unusual cleaning secret weapon?

Week 2 Painting

2011-08-07T16:29:00.000-04:00

Another painting I finished up from a class lesson on mixing grays. This is the first time I've had to create the illusion of rough textures, and it was surprisingly difficult. Farmscapes really aren't that exciting to me, but experimenting with painting clouds was a lot of fun and something I'd like to study more in the future.

Unrelated Things

2011-08-05T14:26:00.001-04:00

I've got a lot of stuff going on around the house today (including finishing up my weekly painting), but here is a recent picture of Grace and links to some things I've enjoyed recently.

The easiest pulled pork you'll ever make
Photoshop actions I've been itching to purchase
A thought provoking article on how we talk to girls

Hope you all have something fun planned for the weekend!

Elastic Waisted Skirt

2011-08-04T13:26:00.000-04:00

During little snippets of free time this week I've been working on a skirt for myself. I referenced this tutorial for how to go about sewing the elastic waist band. If I had use a regular cotton fabric this project would have been finished a lot more quickly, but I had to get all fancy with a sheer fabric on top and liner fabric underneath. Let me tell you gauzy fabrics are not for the faint hearted! They tend to pull and shift all over the place, but in the end I pinned it into submission and have a fun summertime skirt to show for it.

If I were to sew this skirt again I'd definitely use a little less fabric to cut down on the poofiness. It does the trick though and has given me a little more confidence, after a run of failed sewing projects, that I can in fact make something I'd be willing to wear in public.

Mini Kitchen Makeover

2011-08-03T16:05:00.000-04:00

One of my goals last year had been to give the kitchen in our "new" house a facelift. I honestly don't remember when I actually did the brunt of the work (most likely fall 2010), but I promised to share photographic proof that the makeover did in fact occur. So without further adieu here are the before pictures taken during our inspection.

View from the dining room. Check out that sexy ceiling fan!

Living room entry to the kitchen.

The appliance line up and a closer view of the fruit border.

And now the afters:

Wall shelving system removed and pot rack added.

Pantry doubles as an art station for me and Grace.

While I dream to one day have a white kitchen, the cabinets that came with the house had a very sloppy coat of white paint on them that looked less than pristine. I decided to go a little moodier with the cabinetry and painted them a deep gray/blue tone with brushed nickel hardware. We said goodbye to the fruit border and wall shelving system, and after a ton of patching I painted the walls a very pale blue.

One of the goofiest things happening in this kitchen prior to the makeover was the previous owner's obsession with plug in outlets like these:

The main part of the kitchen had a total of 24 outlets thanks to these things! John and I still have fun trying to come up with all the kitchen gadgets one would have to own to use that many outlets; so far we've only made it to 16. A million bonus points to whoever can come up with 24 different appliances to use them for!

Some quilting fabric and ribbon to make simple window treatments, chalkboard paint on the pantry, and a new kitchen faucet finished out the mini makeover. The world's sexiest ceiling fan has yet to be banished, but I've been keeping a lookout for a more attractive replacement. Otherwise, until the day I get to take a sledgehammer to the whole thing, the kitchen is about where I'd like it to be. It's amazing, but just this cosmetic fix to the kitchen is really what made the house start to feel like our own. For those of you on the fence about something like this I whole heartedly recommend it!

Week 1 Painting

2011-07-27T13:35:00.002-04:00

Last week I shared a goal I have to work on an oil painting each week this year. Here's the results for my first week as promised:

At my last class the instructor gave each of us a picture of some tomato plants from her garden to paint. The objective for this painting was to learn how to mix many different shades of a color i.e. red and green for this piece. The background of this painting proved to be the most difficult part; the picture was pretty dark with masses of leaves and vines everywhere. Simplifying that while still maintaining some depth was a challenge. Eventually, I might decide to work the background a little more and get the green tomato looking a bit better, but I need to step away from it for awhile in order to come back to this with fresh eyes.

Dresser Makeover

2011-07-26T13:51:00.000-04:00

A couple months ago I bought an old dresser at a tag sale (and by tag sale I mean leaky old barn piled high with furniture). The man selling it tends to give all the furniture that comes through his barn a shabby chic finish with thickly applied cream paint. The dresser had been shabby chic-ified mear hours before I came across it which was a bummer considering that's not my style. But for $90 I knew a little work could make this dresser look like it came with a much higher price tag.

After stripping off the cream paint, putting on a couple coats of "Avocado Peel" by Martha Stewart, and topping it all off with a semi gloss lacquer my dresser definitely doesn't look like it came out of a barn. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a real before picture. If you look past the dachshund wearing a party hat you can spy the dresser in its initial creamy state.

And here it is afterwards:

I added the latch across the doors to match the existing drawer pulls and to keep Grace out of the lower portion of the dresser. The hinges could use a paint touch up so they blend in a little better; overall though I love the way it turned out. Even John runs his hand over the top as he walks by and remarks at how much he likes it. That to me is a sign of a successful furniture makeover!

New Goals

2011-07-22T12:48:00.000-04:00

Here's my new list of goals to complete by my 27th birthday:

Start some plantings in the backyard
Work on an oil painting each week
Put some artwork up on my walls
Tile a bathroom
Visit the national botanical gardens
Sew an outfit for Grace
Finally knit those mittens!
Keep my design skills sharp by doing some graphics work
Try to make a set of roman shades
Go to NYC for a weekend
Find the perfect multipurpose lamp for my living room
Cook a turkey for the first time
Pick a book on a historical topic to read
Spend more time with friends
Make the entryway to the house feel more inviting

I have a feeling the trickiest item on this list will be working on an oil painting each week. I enrolled in an introduction of oil painting class this summer though and really want to get good at it. The only way that will happen is if I practice, practice, and then practice some more! I'll try to be good about sharing my work each week even if it is just so you can have something to chuckle at :)

312 Months

2011-07-21T16:19:00.000-04:00

I turn 26 today. If someone had been taking a monthly picture of me this would be #312, but thankfully, that doesn't happen. I could show you a picture of myself today except I won't. John surprised me with a professional massage this afternoon (best husband ever!), and my hair is all greasy from the oil.

Just about a year ago I came up with this list of things I'd like to accomplish by my 26th birthday. So now it is time to see just how many of those goals I hit.

1. Run a 5k - Didn't happen. I have however been working with a personal trainer recently and am feeling my muscles get most of their strength back.

2. Refinish the wood floors in my house - I don't know what I was smoking to think I ever would have had the time to do this over 1,400 square feet.

3. Give the kitchen a makeover - Done, and it looks a million times better. I'll even share pictures soon to prove it!

4. Learn some basic French phrases - Kind of happened, but I have the memory of a goldfish and have forgotten them already.

5. Build a piece of furniture - Done!

6. Lose 15 pounds - Still a work in progress

7. Sew a picnic blanket - I didn't even remember that one until I saw it on the list; must not have been the important.

8. Learn basic home electrical work - Done!

9. Become comfortable with manual settings on my camera - Sort of done, but could use more work on this.

10. Create a healthy muffin recipe - I got over my muffin craze when the temperatures warmed up so this might need to be re-explored in the fall.

11. Learn how to mix and match jewelry - Definite improvement over the last year.

12. Knit a pair of mittens - Forgot about this until it was 90 degrees out. It is just wrong to knit mittens when the a/c is running.

13. Dye my hair auburn - Done!

14. Learn some new songs on the piano - Done!

So I'm about 50/50 on my goals which works for me. I feel like I got a ton accomplished in the last year, and have grown a lot as a person. I'll definitely be working on my list for the next year and share my new goals soon.

Thanks for all the cards, gifts, and birthday wishes; this really has been a great one!

14 Months

2011-07-20T11:30:00.000-04:00

Flower Box Update

2011-07-15T10:25:00.000-04:00

After a good bit of searching I finally found some deck rails that work with my planter boxes. Hindsight is really 20/20 on this one; if I'd started out by looking at how deep deck rails are made I would have built my boxes a couple inches narrower. But I found a way to make it all work, and now our deck looks a little bit nicer.

I went with perennials in my boxes to save myself from having to replant each spring. Over the next few years those plants should fill in to create a more lush look. And for those gardeny types I went with creeping jenny as my trailer, pike's peak purple for a little color, and catmint to give it some height. The catmint is supposed to attract butterflies and within an hour of planting I already had spotted one butterfly checking them out.

Pillows!

2011-07-07T12:27:00.000-04:00

I finally got around to sewing covers for some throw pillows I had stuffed in a closet. Toby made sure that our previous pair of throw pillows were only fit to be his new living room nesting spot. It's only fair that he did that though, since I took away his couch privileges after realizing how tough he was on the new white sofa.

For a relatively easy project I'm really pleased with how these turned out. It was my first time working with an invisible zipper, and I have to say they are not at all difficult. Both pillows have the floral pattern on one side and that apple green color on the other. The pattern adds some energy that was definitely needed in the living room, and the darker blue in it echos the wall color I chose for the dining room creating a little more cohesion between the two spaces.

All in all a project success, which is something I've needed after some recent runs of challenging or flat out failed projects...I've yet to show finished pictures of my flower boxes for a good reason! Let's just say the tricky part is not the building but the hanging.

Basement Update

2011-06-29T13:03:00.000-04:00

As of yesterday construction in the basement has officially begun! The framers were able to swing by in the afternoon, and within a couple hours the bathroom walls were up.

There's still a very long way to go between now and having a livable space, but it sure is exciting to see things begin after months of planning.

20% Off Nothing In Our Store!

2011-06-27T16:18:00.001-04:00

I got a Toys R' Us coupon for 20% off one regularly priced item. In the fine print it reads that the discount can't be applied to diapers, wipes, formula, food, toys, video games, and on and on.

Of course I didn't read the minuscule print until I was standing in the diaper aisle having made a special trip just to save nearly $10 on diapers. Really its my fault for not reading the details first, but I just have one problem with this coupon. Discount can't be used on toys....in a toy store. Huh?

Toys R' Us you're really, really lame.

13 Months & Outtakes

2011-06-24T14:00:00.000-04:00

I had only intended to take monthly pictures of Grace for the first year, but after some thought (along with a little persuasion from grandparents) I decided to keep the fun going for another twelve months! And boy did Grace bust out the fun for this photo shoot as you can see from some of the outtakes:

Snack Time

2011-06-23T16:17:00.000-04:00

Nothing like sharing a snack with a friend.

Introducing the Basement

2011-06-21T16:43:00.001-04:00

I've mentioned here and there that we've been talking with contractors about refinishing the basement. Before I get ahead of myself in talking about all the big plans we have for this project I should take you on a virtual tour of what is currently in place.

Because our house is a split level foyer this is pretty much the first thing that you see when entering the Estates at Cromartie (John and I have way too much fun coming up with overly pretentious names for homes):

The lights are on for picture purposes, but most of the time this is just a dark pit. Before we got the entryway light fixed going down to get a load of laundry at night was pretty scary to me. Once I'd turn off the basement light that's just around the corner from the bottom of the stairs I'd run like a frightened kid until I got to the safety of the top floor.

Anyway...here's a look along the half of the basement that will become the family room.

Right off of the family room will be John's new office and general nerd cave.

Here's a view of the other half of the basement.

To the left on this side will be a small exercise area.

To the right will be a full bathroom.

The laundry/tool area will remained unfinished for now, and we're still not sure whether we'll be tackling all of the bathroom or saving that for a later date. Sharing a wall with the laundry room is my office that was already finished by the previous owner.

So there you have the basement and the basic plan for what we'll be adding. Of course there are a lot of steps that will need to happen between now and drywall, but it sure is exciting to feel like we're getting closer to real things happening down there!

Thoughts On Confrontation & Forgiving

2011-06-16T14:53:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I go through periods where it seems that God is really trying to focus my attention on one character trait in which I particularly need improvement. Lately, the theme for me has very clearly been forgiveness and confrontation.

Aside from with John (with whom perhaps I'm a little too good at this) I am awful at confronting people. It terrifies me to even consider having a conversation in which I tell someone that things between the two of us aren't kittens and cupcakes. Instead I let it fester, vent privately, or just hope that in enough time I won't care anymore.

When you confront someone you don't know what their reaction will be, and it very well might be one you won't like. Scary as it is though, I'm learning it's a necessary part of any lasting relationship.

In the past week I've found myself in two situations where I had to make the decision on whether or not to confront someone. The first involved someone I'm tied to from a business standpoint. In that case after careful thought I decided that it made the most sense to confront them, given that I'd rather not have negative feelings lingering between the two of us or worse have to terminate our relationship. The discussion went surprisingly well, and I think we both now have a better understanding of each other's expectations.

The second situation was more complicated and emotionally difficult to process. After talking through things with John, drafting a letter to the person, and then giving it all a little distance, I came to the conclusion that in this situation it made more sense to simply forgive without confrontation. In some ways it was a relief to know I wouldn't need to have that difficult conversation, but what I'm finding is that doing the work involved to truly forgive is perhaps even more challenging.

In the interest of not making this post any longer (I hear a baby who just woke up from her nap) I'll just save my thoughts on the process of forgiving for another post. Thanks those of you who stuck it out for this wordy and baby-less entry!

It's All Right...

2011-06-14T16:20:00.001-04:00

Angles that is. I built a box; aren't you proud of me ma and pa?

I took advantage of the nice weather and some baby-free time today to cut down and build one of two planter boxes for the front of the house. After a little sanding and painting I want to install them along the front of our deck like so:

My hope is that the flowers along the deck will distract from our bright blue trash bins and rusty tool piles thus bringing down the hill billy vibe. Those with a keen eye will observe the tree growing out from between the deck and the trash bin; cue the banjos! And sense many of you have never seen pictures of our home, I put together a little tour of the exterior for you.

There's actually a hole in the fence that we've filled in with temporary fencing until we add either a shed on the inside of the yard or a shed/garage on the outside of the yard. For a long time the little plastic fence was enough to keep Toby in the yard, but during times of great separation anxiety he's been known to escape and join me while I weed the front yard.

We have a really nice view off the front of the deck and have really enjoyed being able to sit outside in the afternoons with our recently purchased deck furniture.

A view of the backyard from the deck. The yard has very little landscaping, but John and I love having the small forested area behind our fence that makes the space feel really private

Our rock ring where we've considered hosting a weekly fight club. The previous owner used to have an above ground pool there. Getting all these rocks out one day is going the be a blast.

Some leftover drainage pipes from the pool. I think a truck rental and dump trip are in order soon!

So there you have it. Aside from the rock ring the back yard is really a blank canvas, which I prefer to having to rip out a bunch of over grown flower beds. John and I have already been discussing what we think will be a really cool addition to the yard, but it won't happen until the fall at the very earliest since the basement project will be our big focus this summer.

Two Small Steps for Grace

2011-06-13T09:26:00.000-04:00

Two giant leaps of fear in her parent's hearts. Not really though. This morning we got to see Grace take two steps all on her own! She may not be walking quite yet, but it is really exciting to see her working towards it.

Midnight In Paris

2011-06-12T14:09:00.000-04:00

John and I had a rare treat yesterday evening and actually went to the movies. We saw the new Woody Allen movie, "Midnight in Paris." I really enjoyed it, although it might not be to the taste of some who prefer a more traditional romantic comedy. The movie had me pulled into the storyline but at a certain point I became very distracted by some closet doors in the main character's hotel room. Kind of weird right?

Image via The Daily Californian

Our bedroom has the standard builder's grade bifold closet doors, and they make me crazy. Thankfully, they don't pop off the tracks as most bifolds seem to inevitably do. But the previous owner couldn't quite make up his mind on where to install the handles so he just kept drilling holes until he found the right spot. So much for measure twice, cut once! Eventually, when I decorate the bedroom (our mattress will continue to sit on the floor until I save up for the bedframe I really want) I'd like to come up with a more attractive closet door set up. Recreating the hazy mirrored doors from this hotel room might be just the answer to add a little character to the room plus they would reflect some light back into the space.

Closet doors aren't the most exciting of blog posts, however I sometimes like to use this blog to make notes to myself for future projects around the house. And speaking of house projects for the last couple weeks I've slowly been getting bids for contractors to start work on finishing the lower level of the house! Right now everything seems to be crawling along. I have two solid options for plumbers, but I can't have that work begun until I find a framer to relocate a wall. My fingers are crossed that the contractor I'm meeting with this week will come back with a reasonable and timely bid so we can get things moving.

Bathing Beauty

2011-06-08T14:51:00.000-04:00

Last week Grace got her very first bathing suit. I have been itching to get her one since I knew I was having a girl, but it didn't really seem necessary until we got the splash pool. Being that she's only one it being a necessity might be a stretch; the excuse seemed good enough to justify picking up this fun little number that was seriously marked down at baby Gap though. Who can really resist brightly colored and ruffled swim suits on chunky baby girls?

2011-06-07T00:14:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend I got to visit with some family that I rarely see. As is pretty common in these situations questions of how I like motherhood arose; except this time the phrasing was slightly different, "what has been the hardest part of the last year for you?" From my side of the table there was only silence. "Is it not getting sleep?" "No," I replied. I forget how the rest of the conversation went, but what I do know is that I never answered that question. Part of me wanted to; I was scared to be honest about it though, despite the genuine care and interest from the person who asked.

In truth sleepless nights, recovery from my c-section, or the trials of nursing never stood a chance against my biggest challenge of the last year: severe post partum depression. To be honest I've struggled with depression on and off since I was a teenager, but never like I did after having Grace.

The first two months after I came home from the hospital I spent my days in the bedroom with the door shut, lights off, and shades drawn. It was weeks before John felt even moderately comfortable going into the office and leaving me to care for Grace on my own. I think he held onto a hope that with a little time I'd return to my normal self. On the surface things seemed to improve. I could function on some basic level, but it didn't take much to throw me over the edge. A well intentioned text message from a friend or an upcoming social engagement would easily tip me into a panic attack, and as the months went on my breakdowns became more intense and frequent.

Eventually, I sought out counseling, though with very little hope that it would do a bit of good. After several sessions I reluctantly agreed to go on antidepressants. At the time it felt like the ultimate symbol of failure to me, like I was so mentally weak that I needed a pill to get me through each day. But they did help, and in combination with counseling I could begin to remember what it felt like to be myself.

Over a year later I find myself trying to taper off those pills with mixed results. I suppose there is no huge rush. I'm eager to say that that period of my life is done though. However, if I'm being completely honest some days feel too big to handle and weekends filled with social obligations can leave me feeling used up and on edge. Just today I had what for me was a terrifying relapse where I came home from the gym and looked at my family with blank eyes for over an hour until I finally was able to put Grace down for a nap and close myself in my bedroom with the hope that I could sleep indefinitely.

I'm getting better at recognizing when I'm reaching my limit. Every once in awhile I get thrown off balance, but the recovery time is greatly improved from even several months ago.

Why I feel the sudden urge to share this part of my life in such a public way I'm not really sure. I suppose it is a good sign that I can though, and perhaps will even explain to some family and friends if I've seemed distant the past year.

I can't seem to find an eloquent way to end all of this so I'll resort to a sorry attempt at humor, which is of course my personal defense mechanism. If you're curious to know the second most difficult part of the last year for me it is coping with the fact that my stomach now looks like a saggy old man butt. No joke people.

5 Years

2011-06-03T13:45:00.000-04:00

Today John and I are celebrating five wonderful years of marriage. A lot has happened in those years, and I'm happy to say that the good and the difficult times have only brought us closer. Happy Anniversary John!

My Sidekick

2011-06-01T13:40:00.000-04:00

It seems like suddenly Grace can't get enough time with me. She always used to prefer having her independence and was never big on hugs or snuggling, but lately she is practically throwing herself at me. I think we've officially entered the clingy stage. With the exception of when I'm trying to make dinner and she won't release my leg I'm enjoying a more affectionate Grace. I figure I better get all my hugs in now before she snaps back into her usual independent mode and is done with me permanently.

Twelve Months

2011-05-25T09:18:00.000-04:00

Tours by Danny

2011-05-24T22:01:00.000-04:00

John's brother Danny graduated from Lehigh University this weekend with a Master's degree in statistics. During our brief stay in Pennsylvania he took us on a tour of the school. It's on the side of a mountain, and let's just say that by the end of the tour our appetites were prepped for dinner!

This was also our first overnight trip away from Grace, who was well cared for by my mom. Everyone did well with the separation with the exception of me forgetting to bring a pump, since I still nurse Grace at nights. If I ever go on another trip away from a nursing baby I now know what will be the first thing in my bag. Live and learn I suppose.

Party Girl

2011-05-17T10:37:00.000-04:00

Grace's first birthday party went by in a blur, but a fun blur at least. I never really ended up getting pictures of the decorations or a good shot of the cake, that was quite possibly my greatest baking accomplishment yet. It was a five layer chocolate cake with swiss meringue buttercream frosting. I even added a brushing of raspberry syrup between each layer to keep the cake extra moist and add a little more depth to the flavor. Oh well, there will be other cakes and more parties in our future.

I think Grace had a really fun time with the exception of when I tried to put my homemade party hat on her only to find out I'd made the strap too short. Oops! People really went over the top with gifts; she got a wagon, fancy bear, portable music player (quite possibly her favorite gift), a special rocking chair, puzzles, and a library worth of books. It was really touching to see just how excited everyone was to celebrate Grace turning one.

Of course today is the official birthday. Her twelve month picture will have to wait until after nap time and a bath, but here is a shot of Grace a year ago:

Happy birthday my precious girl!